You love your kids, and they’re getting to the age where they’re going to start to want to go to the movies, hang out with their friends and buy toys or things that they like. You want them to learn the value of money, so you set up a chore chart and encourage them to work for certain amounts per task.

On the other hand, when your ex-spouse started talking to you about the way you were setting up your children’s allowance, they laughed and told you that they were just giving a flat amount each week. As a result, your child doesn’t always do the chores you hoped they would because their other parent is essentially giving them what they need for no work at all.

Parenting is hard after divorce, but your children’s allowance doesn’t need to cause a dispute. It is important that you both get on the same page, though. How can you do that? Talk it out.

Explain why you’re making your kids work, and see if there is a way that your ex-spouse would be willing to meet you halfway on this arrangement. Perhaps they wouldn’t have a chore chart but would expect your kids to do chores in the house throughout the week. If they don’t, then they get no allowance. On the other hand, you could both talk about reducing the allowances so that your child has to listen to both of your rules to get the money that they want for games or activities.

Frustrations over parenting after divorce can be hard, but if you work together, you can resolve the conflict. If you find that this and other issues are mounting and making it more difficult to parent your children, it may be time to look into your legal options.