It is normal to have some resentment for your spouse after a divorce, especially when the divorce was contentious. If you share a child with your ex, you will need to collaborate on child-rearing matters, which is often easier said than done.
According to Parents, many couples experience difficulty post-divorce when it comes to raising kids. However, it is in the best interest of your children that you and your former spouse come together to make reasonable decisions. Here are a few steps you can take.
Maintain boundaries
If you consider certain behaviors off-limits, make them known. For example, if your former spouse constantly questions you about your personal life, maintain a strict boundary about sticking to child-rearing topics only. You can also set boundaries regarding the way your ex contacts you. Communicating through text and email reduces the stress of interacting with your former spouse. It also provides a record of your conversations in case you must go back to court.
Behave respectfully
Regardless of your personal feelings, always treat your ex civilly. Refrain from speaking ill or passing judgment on them when your children are present. And when discussing issues regarding your kids, do not use personal slights or insults. While you do not need to like your former spouse, you must respect them for the sake of your children.
Treat your relationship like a business partnership
If you are still having trouble maintaining a healthy relationship, think of it like this: you and your former spouse are in a partnership to raise your kids in a happy, loving environment. Instead of taking things personally, interact with your ex like you would a co-worker. Listen to their input, disagree respectfully, and always keep the larger goal in mind when making decisions.
No divorce is easy, but it does not have to be a tumultuous emotional experience. Remaining reasonable and even-keeled can save a lot of headaches, both for you and your children.
